Sunday, September 21, 2008

Don't turn back

Well let's see, today was another tiring day but despite the quarrels and anger that took place, I had fun in the end. I was tempted to lay in bed till noon but nah, I forced myself to splash off the sleep with cold water and drag myself for my day's chores. I was pretty annoyed and upset with J at first because I tolerated so much and did all I could for him. No, I don't expect a word of thank you but I expect him to take heed of what I'm doing. He told me to show him how to be a president, I've showed him, something my senior never did but I'd like to make that difference. He's easily confused but I can tolerate him better now, at least I can see him frown and know that he's trying to make something out of the mess he comes up with.

As for the other committees, especially B, I'm rather upset with her. Well, G came all the way out from Kuala Sawah to fulfill B's request that is to have her senior teach her how to do the account. Yea, I know her parents didn't allow her to come out but, this was told since Friday, obviously a last minute change of plans would upset your parents. Hmmm..

P, she's becoming more helpful and not too hard to approach and it's cool. I hope she'd continue to grow and mature. As for the younger G, she's been more open with her opinions now and very efficient with her work, well, at least she's the first I've seen that has met a deadline pretty well. D, alright, he's easier to negotiate with now, well, at least for today, I finally don't feel like he's pushing me against the wall and expect me to give him a book of reasons for everything. And you know what? These people are finally working for today. If they go on like this, I'm sure it'll be good.

I drove home after S2, gastric was kicking in pretty bad and I forgot to load the car with my pills. Head out again to piano and then another problem striked. SY called and told me that some dude is coming up with practices for MY performance and expect me to turn up for it just because I'm always in Seremban and never attending practices. Well dude, I ain't coming for it, I'm the director so let me do it and let me tell who I want to act in it when to come and what to do. SY was saying that I had not have a single practice and the performance is this coming Saturday. I'm aware of it but that's just my trick, I want you folks to have as little practices as possible. That's Drama.

J called me at 7.20pm. He said his mom forbids him from going to this jam session him and the male G is supposed to go tonight and J mentioned G stopped talking to him for not showing up. He sounded really upset, I wanted to cheer him up but I had no idea what to do but to keep my mouth shut. And worst of all, J took my notebook back by accident and now I'm stuck here with all my plans writte in the book.

Such a time as this, I get help and support from people I barely express my problems too. Amazing huh. Yeap, thanks to John, my bro, peeps I meet online that I hardly meet. I am definitely tired and yes, D's warning about me burning out is alarming already but it's not a time to stop and I ain't stopping till it's the end of everything. I'll just have to strive on with my bottle of Vit C and energy bars mom stocked up. Hahaha...

I spoke to G last night, I told her my main concern was for J and D.... ah G, being my best friend since form 3, she knows what I worry about. She's right though, I can never be there for them both forever but they scare me sometimes. J is so easily offbalanced and influenced, now that he's more attached to me I feel safer, he's really a somebody and I wanna watch him through it. As for D, well, not always but sometimes he talks like the you know who and acts like him too. I'm not planning or cooking up anything but just hoping for the best for them both. I know I have to "butt" off soon, I will, till then, make me happy, tell me it's gonna be okay. However, I have them to thank for really, because the peeps I see so often lately makes my day much better than it has ever been and I see myself growing too.

More obstacles will come but I just hope they'll do as how they sing, "......when mountains fall, I'll stand, by the power of Your name" I may seem to be playing a role in every part of it but seriously, when the day comes, you'll see that I've not played a single role at all. :)

You people have great thoughts, great wisdom, all you need is just faith and the guts to risk it.

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