Saturday, February 16, 2013

Fourth year in GFS

It's finally 2013. Despite the usual, "This is my 2013's resolution" that I think many are busy listing down within the first quarter of the year, I now look back on the year 2009 when I first stepped into Grace Family Sanctuary, Banting.

I've grown up in White Fields Assembly, an independent branch from the FGA group and all my life I have never thought of moving on to another church. With unforeseen circumstances in life, I have moved on and finally met someone that I love and cherish who has also invited me to GFS in the earlier days of our relationship together.

I remember first stepping into the church feeling uncomfortable being a stranger, a new comer. Seriously detested the "welcome card" and to my horror, our dear Pastor Vic, whom I now have grown to love and respect, welcomed me in his Sunday Service greeting. The next thing I knew, a swarm of people came up to me and shook my hands, greeted me as though I was some very important person who just happened to stumble upon this place.

After several church hunts, mistakes that I have made in school, Christian fellowship, and college, the last thing on my mind was to serve. I told the Lord I was never going to be ready any time soon. Lo and behold my sweetheart told Pastor that I could sing. Could I? I hesitated but agreed to do so anyway.

With many ups and downs in my earlier days in this church, I've learnt so much through hardships and laughters. Some mistakes I carry with me in my faint memories that will sometimes still send goosebumps to my cheeks recalling the embarrassment of my idiotic actions. I still react that way sometimes, sometimes I even blame myself for those who left church. I always felt what I was doing was not good enough and that I have progressed too slow.

I've shown my ugliest sides to these people in this community. They've been there for me. Advised me. Lectured me. Given me a chance to learn an opportunity to serve. Nourished me. Guided me. Influenced me into who I am today. Friends I never thought I deserved. Friends I call brothers and sisters who I care about so dearly now. Up till this day, I have no idea what made me stay. The initial reason would be that very man I adore. But when I ask myself, is that all there is? I know there is more to it. This is a church that I've come to grow on to love and cherish and to serve my services. A training ground for me.

Every Sunday, in fact, every day of my life I am still trying to detect my mistakes. My wrong choice of words. My worry that I will offend someone, worried that my serving is not good enough, not pleasing enough. But I've come to realize again and again that the Lord has always been there for me, picking up the pieces and taking whatever I have to offer, bringing me forward further and farther. I've never took a moment in life often enough to sit and look back and notice the handiworks the Lord has done for me in my life, all the little miracles. This is something that I'd like to change as I step forward each day. Giving thanks and counting my blessings. And in these past 3 years my urge to serve has grown and grown.

I've not blogged in ages. Really. I don't even know why I still blog. But sitting down tonight reminiscing on those earlier days in GFS, I just want to thank the Lord for bringing me this far. Thinking back, at first I felt it was all a joke traveling this far for a service. Traveling the distance and leaving my comfort zone. I still complain from time to time. I am human after all, I get tired just like everybody else. But nothing is impossible in Him. Even when my faith had been shaken many times, I really thank Him for nurturing me into this woman that I am today. I hope you guys experience what I am experiencing right now. Like a whoosh of blessing, God's comfort and warmth surrounding you. Oh how He loves us indeed!