Saturday, September 13, 2008


Well, I really didn't mean to blurt out that I was getting pissed off at you during our chat this morning. I must say though, you have a way with people, manipulative. As much as I thought I could hold my tongue, you managed to get it out of me eh?

So yes, I won't say that no one feels this way but when you are firing up for a passion and all you get is a slap in the face as a response because the people involved don't feel the same way as you do, it's really draining me out. You asked me a very good question today, 'Why do this? You're not obliged to you know." Yep, I'm not. And yes, there are a thousand miles I'd like to cover than this, but sometimes, even if you've travelled the world, you'd still feel the something's missing kinda thing in you.

Don't compare my music with it. And hey, why don't you put a little faith and keep trying and striving till the last second for this CF and you'd be a living witness for me to strive for my music? This is how a family works, we encourage each other in such ways. If anybody should know more about family, it should be me. No, today when I shot you those few questions when you were holding the mike, it was not revenge, I just want you to be in the position as how we all are in. Not knowing what to say when people shoot you with such questions. When a person is pessimistic, that is when those who are optimistic will be dragged down as well. Why didn't you express your pessimist thoughts? Because it was inappropriate right? So why keep it in you still?

You told me about the ratio between me an C. And you firmly said, "It's either one of you make the first move to solve it or it will never work" Do it then. You do what you ought to be doing for this team of yours. You said you tried, don't stop trying till you are through. We will set ourselves no rest till the day our knocks on heaven's door are answered.

You are something, so is J. You both are the most beautiful souls I have ever met that has never failed to inspire me in every aspect. You remember how you helped me through my problems? I am at where you are now on that night when you told me you think it's best for you to detach from me. I am not going to repeat your steps, but I am at that breaking point.

Yes, I want to slap you, I want to slap you so hard that your face will be swollen. But it would not change a thing in you would it? She said fighting is a way of communicating. You and I, we don't really fight, but it's really that tensed up sometimes and yea, it is even more draining to fail to speak to you as you touch and go. Maybe that's why you always don't get the news.

I'm not obliged to be here for you guys, but I want to, but I'm not here to stay, this team is yours, not mine, what's mine is done, what's yours begins now.... your family in Christ.

Communicate please, it's your only hope and theirs too.

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