Sunday, August 3, 2008

I'm with you Gracie

Yesterday night I got an sms from a girlfriend of mine, she said, "Can I join you for a meal?" I could sense bitterness in her. I was with my other girlfriends but I told her she's free to come over. As she walked into A&W, it was my first time seeing her so drained out. She's lost a lot of weight, a sign of not eating was rather obvious. As she came over to our table I knew what I was looking at---- a reflection of ME.

The ruined relationship she had has worn her out. I've been there and I could feel the pain. Seeing her cry made me cry, because I've been far worst than she did. The ugly truth that nobody knew, the fact that I almost died. Not eating? Gurl, that's nothing new to me. I'm greatful for the love of God because though the intensity of not wanting to live was rather strong but I still took steps to strive for life. I tried to console her, but as I already knew, it would do no good. Why? Because it all depends on that individual self whether you want to let go or not. I never wanted to let go, but I've done so now and I can see the results. I know exactly how she feels but I cannot give her the remedy to it because she has to come up with it herself. She repeatedly questioned me how did I pull through, I said, honey, I could never have done it without the help of my friends.

As I was talking to her, I kept recalling what my friends have done for me. I cried because I wish I had this kind of help when I was going through the divorce and I wish this kind of help will never end. I’m really grateful for those who have helped me I really am, and on the contrary, I want to be there for you guys too.

Girl, the question is, when will you let go? I regretted allowing it to get to me for so long and I’ve missed out too much in life. We are so young now, we don’t deserve to be in this circle of life for that long. I will never tell you that he is not worth it because who am I to judge right? You know I will always be there for you when you need me and I will support you through and through but hey, your stepping into that critical line where I’ve been and I’ve crawled my way out with bloody hands and feet. I cannot let you go through that, you must get out of it now. When you need me, anytime any day, just holler. You said you envy why D’s the one I always talk about, yes, he helped me pull through with that very look at campfire. Now, this is my time where I do it for you. You will never walk alone (quote from Liverpool) because I’m gonna stick with you through it all.

P/S: If a man doesn't love your physique as well, PERGI MAMPUS! Cos I love you just the way you are. Don't be afraid to step out of it, I'll catch you if you fall. Peace out chic.

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