Saturday, August 2, 2008

"Dance with my father again"

If anyone of you remembered the one and only ACS Talentine I joined?Yep, after we won first runner up, a month after that very day, was the day I walked into I's studio. I remembered he told me to sing, "twinkle-twinkle little star" for the audition. He then questioned me what I intend to learn from him, well obviously I want to learn pop music. He's the first teacher I know that would go against my wishes and introduced me to a world of classical. I didn't walk out then because I wanted to prove him wrong, that I'm more cut out for pop. But who would've known, I've grown to believe in his perception as well. Back then he was rather concern about me, he always asked me how I feel. I used to tell him my phobia from the things my siblings used to tell me that I'm no good in voice. He brought me out of that shell and made me someone I never knew I could be. I joined in in July 2006. Its passed July 2008 now, and its way different. I missed the times he told me to hold his waist and feel the proper breathing method, it was quirky but I learnt something new about the human anatomy.

When he duet the song "The Rose" with me in class, gawd, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. From then on, I attend every lesson and hope we'd do it again. I admire the choice of songs he gets me, because they speak to me. The minute he spoked and sang to me Vaga Luna, I fell in love with it, it is his favourite song and it soon became mine too. I could feel the lyrics as I sang, if only anyone would bother reading the lyrics, it is so very beautiful. I always enjoy listening to his stories about his journey in music, but soon I hear no more. I used to gain inspiration from there..

I my guide, he took me higher each time. How I used to hide away from those high notes, how I was terrified of the vibrato as I reached the high E,F,G,A,B... there was once I managed to screech replica version of Mariah Carey, that was awesome! Whenever he taught me those foreign lyrics, it felt like a father trying to teach his daughter how to read and write. This is something Ian will never know. The true fact that I've grown to love him and put him as a father figure since my dad left. Sadly I will never know how much I love him, I don't treat him like a teacher but someone real close at heart to me. The few times I sang with him at church, it was like a father-daughter dance at a wedding if anyone of you are aware of that culture during Western weddings.

I felt like Cinderella with him, because he had to practice with me through every new piece. And everytime we practiced, it feels as though the glass slipper fit my foot. He gets annoyed when I refuse to let my guard down and show how I truly feel for music as I sing, but the fact was I've been keeping such a strong front for so long, its not easy to open up. But he did. I remember how amazed we both were when I could sing Vaga Luna really nicely, but that only happened once.

I have disappointed him all the time. I wish there could be one moment I could make him proud. I'd say this to my father, 'Daddy, daddy please? I love to sing with you once more, practice with me' (my dad can't sing by the way) I never knew things would get so difficult, that I have yet still fail to show him my passion to follow his footsteps. If only I could get another chance to ride in his car and talk about each song on the radio, practice with him for church and cuddle his puppies after lessons and have a little chat. Ian will never know that.

I love, I love, to "dance (sing) with my father again"

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