Friday, August 8, 2008


I was at the verge of breaking down and I've gotten my breakthrough in that aspect. But now that I'm moving on in life, it ain't easy at all to face new obstacles. I just realised whatever I've been telling my roomie about the other night is just too hard for me to even face. She mentioned that she's a closed book because no one bothered to read it when it was open. I wouldn't say that no one bothered to read my book but I'd say no one really stays and everytime I'm ready to get up again, another closing chapter appears.

Head under waters, its not easy to breathe. I stare down from my balcony in college and I watch the sky, it was all pitch black. It is rather upsetting to face reality that I never really had a good friendship with anyone. I learnt it the hard way sadly, because I was never given an opportunity for improvement nor a piece of advice as to how they really felt with me but decide to just walk out that door. If what everyone had for me is leaving, then perhaps I'm a total goner.
On my way here, being who I am today, I've learnt many walks in life. The times where I locked myself up from past hurts so tight till I couldn't sing. I was at that point where I scared my teacher when I had the expression of screaming but not a sound could be heard. I've seen the best, I've seen the worst, but its what I had to go through and in turn I'd want to make a change of it.

I used to have a friend who used to said I was witty. One said I was someone understanding when it comes to heart to heart talk. One said I was loyal. I never left anyone of them hurt without a prayer seriously. Great it'll be if there are friends who would move in a little closer, and not come and go. But on my way here, I learnt that life has no guarantees that people whom you adore would open the door for you into their lives as much as you hope to. Being on train rides I noticed many souls and the lesson I learnt there is that there's only here and now, because nobody knows who's getting off the next stop.

I agree with one statement that we have to take our clothes off to have a good time. As obscene as it sounds, we gotta learn how to open up to each other in order to have a great friendship. I'm ready to be there for anyone, an ordinary friend I may be, an extraodinary we will be if you'd just believe in me as how I trust in you. At least there'd be someone at picking up and dropping off point at train stations. Metaphorically, we have to party all night, ups and downs we'd all be there for each other, getting high and wild, or going down and dry. So when will you take your ''clothes'' off and let me see the real you?

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