Saturday, March 28, 2009

Earth Hour

We celebrated earth hour at the Lake Gardens. Just the few of us, gathering about in a circle lighting up candles and making jokes out of nothing. The starving ones were munching away on the take away A&W orders. Seeping in the night's breeze I somehow felt that it was gonna be a great night...

After lighting up the candles, we snapped several photos of each other for remembrance. Then sitting down again, I suddenly suggested that we ought to play truth or dare. We spinned the lighter each time the question is announced.

It was then Vincent's turn to come up with a question and he asked. "Who was it that you passionately kissed before this" Darn, the lighter shot at me.

Gripping my wits, I honestly admitted that I only kissed one person and that person was Guy.

Alright, so the next question went on and on and on... till Joyce came up with a question, "What's the biggest decision you have made" Somehow we all agreed to answer it together.

When it was my turn, it's as though reality hit me. That is to finally realise and admit that the biggest decision made in my life was him after all. "That is to wake up the next morning and to know that my ex is never going to love me again"

Somewhat a moment of realization that despite the many months of hardwork, spooning myself with more workload and not allowing myself to stop, its just then I had the courage to gather my wits to not only tell my friends he's gone...but also to myself that he's gone.

Xy said I was rather sporting to be able to answer those questions. But to me, its not about being a sport in such situations..It's about me waking up from torturing myself in a daze, in a dream, a fantasy not wanting to allow myself to adapt to the new chapter of life without him.

Seeing him these days makes no impact on me, but sometimes I do wonder what if things were different back then... But then again, with only 3 weeks left for me to be in school and complete my mission, I couldn't care anymore. Life's starting to shine for me, and if he truly loved me before, he would've trusted me despite words of others and be with me till now.

The game got more intimate, we started answering questions that were rather kept to ourselves... but it was nice. We got to understand each other even better and know what we've gone through though we may not speak of it much. Earth Hour tonight was the best thing that's happened though many of us didn't really want to go at first.

To Anna, XinYi, Azlin, Vincent and Joyce, it was a great night. It wasn't just switching off our switches for an hour, but rather we gained an hour of understanding and friendship enrichment.

As the candles lit to its very core, we stared at the lake together in one accord and know that nothing beats our friendship despite how difficult life may get.

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