Sunday, December 7, 2008


I hate cold nights, they remind me of you too much. The damp weathers we shared...
I read many many novels enough for me to be the next rising author, they all told me the same thing. I'd get hurt then someday when I grow up I'll meet the right one. But will I? I won't know, all I know is that it seems like the end of the world to me whenever I'm not out socializing....not having a stage to act upon as a "normal" girl..... I hate it whenever you're not here with me on such nights. You never will again, but will you give me the key to set myself free to this torment of your haunts though you're never in my world after so long?

You told me the other day that I affected your ability to love. You also said you chased after quite a few girls and that every other men would agree with you about me. Well, I wouldn't know who's right and who's wrong. 'Cos to you its just revenge, it always is and always will be. You said everything you had was destroyed because of me, but after all that's done, you broke mine as well...where's the logistics in that? When you went out with those girls, wouldn't it have gone across your mind that I'd be waiting on you faithfully and loving you every moment around the clock whether or not we barely meet?

I don't think you'll ever know how it hurts and how has it affected a person's life. I won't ever know if I'll be loved properly in the future, because when night falls I fear to even look at myself, you won't understand how that feels.... to actually once belonged to someone else. I wish you'd listened to me when we had a chance to try again. What's the point of knowing that I was telling the truth now when it's all destroyed?

I won't know if I'll ever step out of this because of all I know, I keep falling back into this pit. Girlfriends support me as I stumble, but how long would they stick with me and be patient with my pathetic torn life? Why wouldn't you believe me when I told you I was yours alone?

But its no longer the time to question whys.. 'cos I know that from that day forth, whenever I stepped out of the KTM and make my walk to the bus station, the form who once took me in his arms and claimed me his possession will never be waiting at the other end. I prayed alot since, I prayed that I'll get over it, but I see no end of it just yet, the big L, seems to be freaking me out whenever people show me care instead. I guess, I'm just sick of hearing people talk about you, siding how upset you are and how abused you are, because no eyes have seen my part of the story yet...

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