Friday, April 10, 2009

Vanilla Shake

I wish I knew how you feel, I wonder if you know how I'm feeling too. The times we shared is what I recall. I don't know what made everything go wrong that we barely spoke nor kept in touch. I tried, I called and I text. Coming up with the lamest and silliest questions I could ever think of just to hope to hear your voice or to have my phone buzzing with your text message. You used to care so much even when we quarreled you'd call me back endless times begging me to hear. We used to stay up together to complete our revision even though we were miles apart. I got so comfortable with you that you're the first person on my mind every time I have something to share. Your care used to be so warming that it would last me for days. Now we barely smile, we barely talk what more hug?

Having you away and being inconsistent puts an ache on my nerves. Then when we finally meet, the pain being there far too long explodes the moment I set my eyes on you. I wonder if you ever do notice me around. Maybe you would when I'm gone. Every night I struggle to do what we both promised we would do at 11pm. Every time I pray I feel so alone not knowing if the commitment still exists. You said you carried my letters everywhere, I wish I had one too. These days we quarreled so much I feel cold when I'm with you... you've not hugged me for close to two months and seeing you these days you're like a total stranger I don't know how to respond.

The last message you text me was for work. Correct me if I'm wrong because I feel that I'm nothing but work whenever we come together. Is it true that because they don't understand us and stopped us makes you feel that it is logical for you to stop too? What about me? How would I feel? Sometimes I wonder if you would ever realize. I wish you knew how much I missed you, I wish you would be there for me as you've always been. Sitting at the corner of the room reminds me of how warm it was when you were here. I wonder by the time you really have time to think of me, where would we be on this face of the earth?

You used to accompany me till I fall asleep...now you're the reason why I can't bear to shut my lids at night...

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