Friday, June 15, 2012

Too close, yet not close enough

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This new song has been flooding the mainstream radio stations lately. Somehow felt that it relates to me. Well, there’s high chance that I’m just cultivated into thinking it relates to my phase in life right now but anyways, who knows, eh?
Anyhow, just want to share the stages of relationship that I have recently come to senses with. I’ve recently been thinking about it and I have found a video by the WongFu Productions that best describes it, well, almost. Should you think my two cents is too long a read, I guess this video relates to most of you.  Take note, I did not just begin writing about the stages just because I watched the video. These are my thoughts in a relationship I’d like to pen down in hope I’d think otherwise in the future. Again, to those of you who are reading this, please, do not take it personally. I am not talking about you or myself. Or maybe if I am talking to myself, you will never know. That’s the fun of this site; nobody should know what fiction is and what is not.  So please, don’t spoil the fun. J

Stage #1 Boy meets girl

I guess this is the story where most that made it to their wedding days would be proud to share during their wedding toast. The classic story of boy meets girl and girl meets boy. From personal experience, this was the best moment for me; I tried to describe the feelings. But it was really hard not to quote Katy Perry, it was indeed, fireworks.

Stage #2 The Courtship

During the courting phase, we would somehow feel our heart flutters whenever we are out on a date with a knight that MAY BE just the one for us. I mean, we watch it in movies, right? My advice, a girl should have had it all before this phase ends, she should just demand the rights to more memories and more attention and more effort before the guy pops the question, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Stage #3 Honeymoon

I suppose this is the stage where every couple enjoys or hopefully still enjoying. As for the men, it’s like getting a jackpot. The girl of their dreams is finally intertwining their hands together. I enjoyed my three months the most. I was a bad tempered woman but I was loved and cared for tremendously. I never knew how to appreciate it, until today. If you have no idea what this phase means. I guess you would know if you paid attention to how many hours you are hanging on the phone talking to that someone. You would know it, if you realized how many thousands of text messages you’ve sent to each other and some, maybe most of it are just one word answers and smiley faces because you are always at lost for words and you have to re-read your text several times just to know it’s to the right person.

Stage #4 Comfort Zone

It is sad that the honeymoon stage has to end. I’m sure many couples would agree with me that there should always be a way to turn back time and enjoy the first few stages again. Well, if you put effort in it, I don’t see why not. Comfort stage is not always bad, I mean it’s like what Serena would say on Gossip Girl, ‘’The three month mile stone, walk him through it” What she meant was, the fireworks were meant to dim a little, so you could see each other’s true colors. I guess this is the part where it terrifies a couple. One may be overly bad tempered and the other, has the ultimate ego that is almost indescribable? Just saying, again, not pin pointing anyone. But if you feel the same way, hey, put your hands up!

Stage #5 Tolerance & Compromise

Ah… the title says it all. Tolerance. Actually I beg to differ why Comfort Zone and Tolerance should be in two separate stages. I believe they are both related because there is no way one can go on in the comfort zone without learning to tolerate. However, back to my point, tolerance is a stage where you try to absorb and embrace each other’s flaws. Now this is not the time to be practicing your flair in flirtatious words to keep each other interested, but rather, learn to understand and help each other to keep that fire burning for each other despite the flaws that are slowly uncovering their nakedness.

Stage #6 Crossroad

I have no idea what to call this stage at first but I suppose Crossroad fits the puzzle. If a couple fails to tolerate each other or rather, to hold on to that seed of love that brought them to each other, they will be stuck in a phase where its either you break up, or you accept each other and get married. Now, hey, get married? Isn’t that nice?
Marriage is not a game of monopoly where you decide you should get there just because your dice tells you to. Marriage is a life-long commitment with its famous yet obvious quote, ‘till death do us part’
Marriage is a blessing when got bring two people together to do greater things-Jayeslee said this on Sonia’s wedding video, in which I fully agree with. Before we say our ‘I do(s)’, we ought to make sure. And take my word for it; you wouldn’t want your kids to suffer when things go down the wrong way.

What stage am I now? That’s for me to know. What stage are you? Be true to yourself. Sometimes deluding ourselves that the comfort zone would be a little bit more bearable isn’t that true. Sometimes it’s time to let go, but before you do, ask yourself, is that seed of love truly lost?

On another note, sometimes one tries so hard to save what she had before, but her partner wouldn’t. Should she let go? But she’s the only one who sees the seed while the other still comfortably sited in the comfort chair?

Sometimes, we’re just too close to love someone, you know?

Points to ponder in life indeed…

1 lovebites:

Grace said...

Yes girl, a marriage is a lifelong journey, a commitment from both parties. Marriage means both parties complete each other's world. It also means either one can't function without one's existence. It takes two hands to clap. And the two hands must clap simultaneously and marriage is often a teamwork based process.

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