Clockwork

As I make those long drives, I often doubt my destiny, the truth to the talent I was given as a child. If given a situation to start it all over, would I choose to own this talent or let it go to avoid any controversy? Life is an irony. We live our days trying to be a better person than yesterday and the day before yesterday and so forth. The irony here, is that despite a white piece of paper with a black dot somewhere on it, the art of a human being is that we would tend to seek the black dot instead of accepting the fact that the paper is actually- WHITE.

We harp on the past of what people once did to us and not how that person is at the present time whenever it doesn't please us. We run a race in our life, we decide our dreams and which we have decided to go forward with. One thing we did not realize is that this race involves other people's races as well. Sometimes no matter how much we want to play by our rules, other people's rules get involved in our race. It is time to realize that the world isn't as pretty as how we crayoned it on a piece of paper when we were 5.

Referring back to my current state of mind tonight, a talent is a gift, not a curse. However the world made it into a competition, the battle of the best to dominate others with what you have, and make this talent that we each individual have to be a reason to battle. We have meetings, feedback sessions hoping for progress in understanding each other as a team, but is this really the remedy of the situation? Is this what is meant by thinking out of the box?

Tonight I realized, that life isn't always how you want it to be no matter how big a dream you may have because there are other souls in it that will interfere with your dreams just so they get theirs. I realized that a talent may turn into a burden if we don't handle it well. I realize as I grow up now, that getting up every morning is a decision to make if we can face the episodes we have to face everyday. I now understand why some people won't mind not waking up the very next day, because not waking up might just be the next paradise for mankind.

How is it to put up a mask to look like I'm okay, when I know it is only fair if my lover do not take sides, but as a lover's lover, it is only natural for my lover to stand up for me in situations like this?

I apologize for such a merry-go-round post, but this is exactly how my mind works right now at this point of time. Things happen despite whether you want it to be. Everything is like clockwork...