Scraps...

The feelings are rather uncertain, alike waves, slapping the sides of the beach, and moving backwards to the sea over and over again. The heat is penetrating but somehow the uncertainty gives me a dose of fear but at the same time, a dose of tranquility.

I hadn't been back at that place in days. But communications these days were no hindrance for any news to be left unknowing. This is when I picture myself as the blind, not being able to see how they are but I can only see their situation through what I hear and how my heart feels from it. That is one type of music I've always loved.

They are striving hard, I can imagine, beads of sweat flowing down the feeble leader trying to seek for a solution that seemed so near yet so far. I can sense, the tension, the pressure on the shoulders of his assistant, waving away with his hand when he thinks about it but it comes right back into his mind shortly after that. The team, two girls, two very lovely girls. One, after hearing the ugly comment from me, she attempts to make a difference by promising more and more. I can picture her arranging and re-arranging a shelf but still fail to make up her mind because there is just too many things going on in her life at this very moment. Too many events. As for the latter, she has the wisest opinions amongst all of them but keeps her lips pressed firm, unspoken till she's questionned.

I hear they gather together themselves, and pray to the Almighty. I could see a sligh shade of the evening glow shine upon them, there was a spark of unity in them but will it burn? I pray it would. Prayers aren't merely words, their hearts,souls and mind should be united as well and together cry out to Him. They finally "gave themselves no rest" though the clock may be ticking fast in their world, but slow in mine........... it is never too late.

I noticed a smirk of satisfaction as I gaze upon my reflection. Are they finally stepping over the hedge and noticed and feel and know and understand how I have been feeling and still am feeling for the past four months about them and about this event? Sometimes I wonder why do I do what I do, but I will never have the answer to it because it's something in me that tells me it is a command not a thought.

Where I am standing now on this stage, I have been crying out for them, these people who are supposed to be leading, they are my main purpose of crying without fail. The world around them are dimmed, because it is up to them to share the light. My committee are only few, our hands and feet can only reach out to a certain extend. It's somewhat I quote, "pick up your bed and walk" There is no time to regret, there is no time to turn back, rather, save yourselves and your neighbours from more disappointments, but rather, hold on, strive harder and call the shots.

The opportunity costs of getting us here and now no longer mattered. It will only come into place if you let all else fail. Put a price to the efforts made, don't make us regret because it was not mere concern that made us dip our foot in but rather, the friendship, the love, the need and the hope we had throughout the past 7 months of our lives after we left school that we intended to share with you, your youthful souls.

The door keeps slamming, I have warned you so, so embrace yourself and not walk away from that door and seek for a window instead. God has made you who you are and commanded His authority upon you and there is no shame when it comes to Him. Seek Him more, cry out to Him as how I have cried out for you. Don't give up, no, its not time yet to be six feet under my dear, and even if there'd come a chance you should, I would lay my body before yours does.

Sometimes things are easier achieved if we just surrender it to God, no, that doesn't mean we should sit down and fold our arms across but rather, pray before we speak to every individual about our purpose, pray before we walk out of that class, pray before we pray together as a team, pray before we even decide to lift a finger for anything. Sounds tedious? Well, God is a jealous God, there's no such thing as ONE PRAYER THAT SAYS IT ALL.... be in detail, He will open more doors for you.

You don't really have much choice now that you see the walls are closing in. I've been feeling that way ever since my return. I have fallen weak along the way but you guys are the angels I have never met. No, its not just my saying, many have said the same. I wish I was like you guys back then when I was still at school. But my time was then and gone, my team will only return for this one glimpse that feels like hell though just 9 days away but we should all together leave an imprint of the struggle we struggled for God.

I may be very engrossed with this, but I admire and adore every individual you. Drown in tears and let Him save you. Try and fail rather than protect yourself and regret later. Sixteen years of life is just the beginning, I'm only two years away, and life is already a bumpy journey the minute I stepped out of school. Hold on, and not be whom I've been, tired, alone, heavy yet weary. Smile, though you may be disappointed now, just smile and think positive, think success, you won't know what's next in line if you do so.

Don't wait, pick up the pieces, make something out of them.

Isn't it simple?

1. Don't just pray, but cry out to Him
2. Smile though your spirits are weakening

Strive, before the sun goes down. :)