I danced, I laughed, I smiled,

Your gaze was locked with mine,

Those were the days when you knew you fell in love,

Those were the days I knew you fell in love...

The endless hours of conversation,

It felt like there's no tomorrow,

The skyrocketing phone bills,

Our furious parents,

We couldn't care less,

Those were the days...

You held my hand for the first time,

We walked into the night and sat by the swing,

We watched kids pass by,

We witnessed the glorious sun go down,

And as the moon rise up,

We were with each other,

Those were the days...

Two years have gone by,

You are still by my side,

But that hand that once held me,

Is not the same as how it once felt,

The endless conversation,

Has found its ending,

And I have failed to find the beginning,

To even try to begin with...

However, some things have always kept us together,

I will never know whether it is by the power of the Almighty,

But I am here still because I am certain of my own heart,

That I have fallen in love with you since the day you wrote to me,

And I have loved you even more each day...

I wish you would come back to me,

The whole of you, not just the tangible you,

I pray you'd see it in my eyes that my heart aches to be loved,

And that I want to grow old with you,

I yearn for a little more comfort from you,

To end my misery of having you as mine,

But not quite mine...

We've been through years of struggle,
Countless wars and pains,
Just a few more leaps,
And we're there,
We're almost home


The lines on your face and hands,
Reminds me who I am ,
And who am I to become,
The veins on your arms,
Tells me what a mother you are,
We're almost home


No matter how the world sees us,
You kept me strong,
Even when you're weak, you gave m e strength,
Whenever we gave up,
We laughed it off and kept pushing forward,
We're almost home.


It has been hard,
It gets harder as the day goes by,
But it's all worth it when I'm with you,
You gave me hope in the midst of disappointments,
Like a toddler learning how to walk,
You guided me,
We're almost home.


I believe our race for happiness is almost here,
Just need to win this race,
I worry for you,
And you worry for me,
Lord please keep us both save,
Mum, we're almost home.

Nightmares and morningmares,
You can attack me whenever you want,
But you'll never succeed,
Because my God is great and the Almighty,
What do you have to compare to rule over me?
You may whisper words in my mind and heart,
Whenever I'm alone I know you are near,
But the one next to me isn't you,
My Abba Father is always next to me,
Always IN me.
So get out of my house,
Get out of my head,
Get out of my mind,
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,
The Lord who has loved us enough to give up His own son,
I rebuke you, evil one,


Dear God,
Whisper me sweet words of comfort and strength,
I know You'll never leave me,
I know there would only be one pair of footprints in the sand,
You will be carrying me home and to safety.

Who would've known
That the word love
Would sting when mentioned?
Do you know how hard it is
To run the race in life
But to only come home
To endless rounds of bloodshed wars
That plays repeatedly in your mind?


I'm not talking about a bee sting,
I'm talking about gun shot wounds,
And slash wounds,
Burnt wounds,
That scarred my mind and to the very core of my soul.

I am tired,
Too tired to run my own race,
Too restless to hold her hand,
Despite the numbing pain,
I was made to give her hope,
Hopes that even I couldn't believe myself.

Have you ever ran
With glass pieces in the soles of your feet,
But there's no reason to scream,
Because the pain has been so familiar,
Have you ever been hurt so badly,
That you would just laugh in a pool of tears?



Here I am,
Still running with her,
Watching everything i dreamed of,
Pass by like a wind,
There's no time to turn back,
No there's no time to save more memories,
There's only running forward,
In hope that we'd find that promised land.

I’m still living in denial.

I told myself that I’d get over it

I told many others to get over it too.

The show must go on

And thinking about you just ain’t helping

If it’s true that we are our own teachers

I pray we all have the courage to go on

That every time we sing

We wouldn’t wait on you to correct us

That every time we sing

It’ll be our best

I told myself I’d write something about you

I’ve failed to do that so far

Cause every time I think of you

I hate the fact that you’re gone

I hate the fact that you made so many promises with us

And just left us all hanging

I know you didn’t mean to

I know it wasn’t your intention

You just got called Home sooner than you expected

When we heard what you’ve done throughout your lifetime

You’ve made us wish we knew you earlier

You’ve made ME wish we could turn back time

I get up in the morning

Wishing my Monday classes are still on

In fact, something inside me still tells me

That this is just a joke

That it ain’t real

You said I was dependent of you

Well you didn’t give me time to grow out of it

You said you’d put me through competitions

But you never saw me through any of it

I know as time passes,

You’ll be just a memory in my mind

The father figure I’ve had,

The father figure I’ll always have,

The guidance I had not only for voice

But in life.

I’ll write about you someday

Someday when I can think of you

About the times we shared

About the achievements we achieved

Without so much hurt

Without that sting in my throat

Without that burn in my chest

Without that dampness on my cheeks

Whenever you walk ahead of me,
My heart skips a beat wishing you'd take my hand,
When you hold my hand loosely,
I'd hold onto your grip like there's no earth beneath me,
With the many tasks you have to manage,
I can only hope that you would look my way for a glance,
And when you do,
You bring me joy,
Like a high school girl who's just met her first crush,
Funny how you still bring me such thrills,
Despite the 4 seasons we've been together,
Every little thing you do,
Puts a smile on my face and a tear in my eye,
When I go to bed,
I pray to God that I will never have to lose you,
The thought of not having you in my days,
Would only result in everlasting darkness,
And of dull colors and musty ways,
You tell me this is just a phase that I'm going through,
But let me tell you that this is the love that you planted in me,
And I will love you always.

Lord You are good and your mercy endures forever,
You gave me a talent and mom polished it for me,
Regardless my length in service,
I just want You to know,
That I'd give my all for You and at Your service,
May You grant me sweet melodies as I lay my fingers,
A talent which I have denied for years,
Talent which I envied in others throughout my time,
Pray that You'd be next to me,
And form melodies in my heart and the hearts of Your people,
I will follow You,
Jesus, lead me on,
As I walk my step of faith,
Showing You my passion,
And offer You my service,
As little as it may be,
It is from my heart's desire.

As I woke this morn,

Sunrise of our first Monday,

Crickets and crows sung a choir,

I sighed deeply and my heart skipped a beat,

The sunrise embraced me with its heat so warm,

Looking over the hedge,

Is the grass really greener on the other side?

Here I am,

About to step foot into the other path of the plains,

Silver and gold I have none,

But sincerity and willingness to try is what I have to offer,

Embrace me o year,

Create in me a new heart, a new joy, a new dream,

Most of all,

Create in me,

A smile,

Smile so bright, as bright as your first Monday sun...

I miss you,

I hate the fact that I have to count 6 days till I see you again,

I hate you,

You always seemed OKAY no matter how we are,

I adore you,

The passion you have for God and the things and people you cherish,

I need you,

Every second, everyday,

I breathe you,

Nobody I want but you to wake me in the morns and tuck me in the dark,

I rely on you,

No matter how tough life can be I just need to dial your number,

I tear for you,

Everyday whenever I stare at our picture in my purse,

I smell you,

Of Armani and Romance but most of all.. the aura of love you bring,

I cherish you,

For the joy you gave me and the path to God you encouraged me to come back,

I feel you,

Of every hug and every embrace,

Most of all,

I love you,

Every heartbeat and every rise and fall of my chest,

No matter how far we are, or how many quarrels we have,

I love you.

I hate tears,
Tears are like the most painful thing in the world,
I teared so much that it hurt to tear more,
My eyes are swollen,
My thoughts are blue,
I lie in bed all day,
Hoping there would be a way,
It's just so painful,
But the tears just keep coming,
Flowing rivers streaming down,
Endlessly, bitterly,
My hands bruise from my clenching and unclenching,
My body shiver every time I recall the pain,
My tongue is scald without the need for heat,
My soul is dead and cold,
Rivers of tears would soon turn into blood

The days drag on miserably.
I'm in so much pain,
Though I'm not wounded,
I wonder why am I so depressed,
A type of life that does not resemble me,
I heart for joy and happiness,
But it seems too far out of my reach,
Don't know why you didn't come,
Don't know why it is not mine to own...

No it's not okay,
I cannot be a fool,
Please do not make me call you again,
It torments me even more,
I am recovering very well,
So hush my darling,
Don't remind me darling,
That you are not my baby.

Don't strum that guitar,
Don't hum a single tune to me,
What's not for work,
Lay it off far from me,
Leave, get out,
All you memories,
All the things you said,
Promises you broke.

Yes, my license is expiring,
And I can't wait for it to expire,
Before my feelings for you aspire,
For that will be another dread to pay,
I wanted so much out of us,
That made me still remain at where I am now in life,
Tried to move on but still standing here.

So go find your new love,
May it blossom well,
I only want you to be happy,
But please do not torment me,
I am nothing but someone whom you mistrust,
I want nothing but my own life back,
And only hope for pure love to return someday.

You make things so hard for me,
Some days you are just so close,
Other days you are just like everybody else,
I adore you a great deal,
But I'm just so sick of trying,
It's always me disappointing you than making you proud.

It's not that I do not understand your theories,
It's just that I'm too tired to practice it,
Whenever that happens you tell me to leave,
So what if I want to take my own sweet time to learn,
I'm just a man with two hands and feet,
I get tired too,
Just like you.

You keep asking me why,
You demand for an explanation for every failing attempt,
You said I do not require your approval,
But you sure as hell act like one,
It's not that I don't have proper support to sing all ten notes,
In fact, I can sing 20 or more,
But do you really want to know why I cannot?

It's the thought of worrying whether each note suits your liking,
Whether it is with enough support as required by you,
Is it with enough melody to that one particular note as how you like to hear,
Your thoughts,
Your liking,
Your comments,
Your decisions,
That's what's been affecting me lately.

So don't tell me I don't need your approval,
Because I've been worrying,
And pushing myself hard for your demands,
Trying to fulfill each and every of your command,
Learning not to say no to whatever you want,
In hope to get your nods more than you disapprove,
I'm just doing what I thought you would want to see,
Now I don't know what am I doing,
Nor what you would want to see,
So tell me how can I even sing a single note without knowing its purpose or path?

They used to wander,
Trying to make everything better for those in need,
Didn't know it would be thought by others,
That these eyes are in their way,
These eyes are stopping them,
These eyes are creating hate...

I met you today,
I'm done with pretending,
My throat burnt struggling to make a sound,
I stared throughout the night yesterday,
My lenses fitted me with piercing pain,
They are all red and painful,
Their master forcefully irrigating their nerves,
But no one's going to know,
When you look into my eyes now,
Cos you wont see anything,
And I wont let you see anything

She said we'd patch up,
The other she said I should've released my anger physically,
He said he doesn't know,
He said, she said,
But I said,
I don't know what you want,
And I will never know,
Because you think of me otherwise,
Before we could even communicate,
So I chose to leave,
Virtually,
Eventually,
Physically...

But no one would have a glimpse at those eyes again.

As I stared at my empty tissue box,
And as I read his messages,
It's just so hard to make him understand,
What I really felt,
I walked out of his home,
Being all so subdued and so numb,
Yet when I got home I wanted to give it another try,
I wanted to fix the problem and not let it be at stall.

But you cut me off before I could say anything,
You don't even know what am I upset about,
You won't take a minute and read what I wrote,
I only begged you to stop giving me itsy bitsy promises,
Which I would hold on as tight as possible,
I never said you were a fool,
A fool I am for trying to patch things up,
As it leaves me lying in my own pool of tears.

Never did I compare you with others,
You thought I did all the time,
If I was so great, then who is the Almighty to compare,
But tonight will be the night that I know how you felt about me,
Tonight is the night I ever cried till dawn for being misunderstood yet again,
It's about time I faced reality that I no matter what I do,
He'd think of me otherwise even if it was out of care.

So many people dying,
So many people getting hurt,
Their eyes are full of hate,
Their hobbies are to kill,
Life is like a rolling stone to them,
And death is something they enjoy watching.

Loving the sound of crashes,
Adoring the sounds of death,
Inviting more angels of death,
Allowing more people to die,
It is the latest entertainment in town,
I can smell death everywhere.

They tried to get me too,
I survived unharmed,
But no matter how fast you run,
All they have to do is just walk behind you,
Their cynical laugh ascends..
And soon you'll have nowhere to run,
They'll lick your pool of blood splattered,
That is what they call a healthy snack.

The world is cruel,
It is not just brutal,
It is way beyond any inhumane attributes,
We're all victims,
But we are also the culprits,
How fast can we run,
How long can we hide,
Till the Messiah saves us again?

Minutes pass in vain,
Taking its stroll of pain,
Length of this path burdens me,
Is this a curse
Or is it mere choice?

The voices demanding more of you,
Instructing for your attention,
You make a wrong turn and the voices will change,
A symphony of negativity and shame,
As you continue limping through with your head hung low

Beats are getting faster,
Like your heart beats against your chest,
Pounding on you from the east to west,
When will you complete the quest?
To that faint picture of your stable nest

The more they demand of you,
The more sacrifices you make,
These aren't the fear that you should fear,
But rather fear that these fears would stop,
For when they stop haunting you,
That is when you worth no price,
And your name pays no dignity

I'm crying,
Tears like rain,
Howling for all the pain,
I'm nobody in any unusual type of vain,
But I've just got too much on my plate,
Sadly, I don't have such an appetite,
And I don't know how to clean this plate.

Troubles keep dicing at me,
The days are getting more difficult,
I just want a listening ear to hear me out,
But I only watched till the candle.... grow dim..


I awake wishing for a better day,
But it's just a bad day for way too many days,
I've fallen ill,
Recovered,
And fallen again repeatedly,
This challenge that I plot for myself this year,
Had been a decision from the growing fire I did not realise,
Green eyes watching you,
Hurting you when you are least alert,
Smiles of joy fades away,
I see no silver lining in the sky...

I sweep the dead leaves on the ground,
I turned around and came back around,
I solved one,
There comes another,
My energy is wearing out,
And I don't have another.

Fatigue overwhelmed me as I worked around the clock,
Sometimes I wonder why I suffer,
Relations asked me why I bothered,
Simply I only said,
It is a bill I have yet to pay,
The obstacle or the fee for me to cross over,
Because I am finally sober.

They aren't just mere recognitions,
The price I pay for all the challenges,
Comes with a mighty amount of pain,
But the sweet surrender are those diplomas,
Carrying them home to bring a smile on her face.

I detest everything she wished for,
But the years in my life taught me otherwise,
A duty of care I owed my mother's love,
I want ot make her feel worth it,
With the mound of my success in stored,
Though I may tire for the rest of my days,
If giving up comfort and rest is all it takes,
I do it for her,
In hope that she knows my intentions.

Sand flowing through the funnel,
As I strive along the tunnel,
I recall faint memories of being here once,
Only this time it was no longer for solace,
But mere chance of victory,
To grant me the joy that I deserved.

Many doubts and fears I carry with me,
It is the only path to lead me home,
You have taken everything I ever wanted,
Though I pleaded for mery you never granted,
You made my heart sore,
Now this is the remedy for the core.

Love me not and you shall never,
For I was the fool and you were the clever,
I am grateful for the presence of others,
They warmed me up when you snatched my covers,
I shall be the sculptor of my life,
For I am no longer your wife.

I am ready now,
To allow this bitterness to depart from my soul,
Because the stench is getting rather foul,
I want my life back,
May you bless me back on track.