Lousy lousy

I'm really upset tonight, because its not that I didn't try my best, in fact, I was so ready to show them what I prepared, but its all gone now. The moment I stepped in, she gave me a friendly wave, hah, unfortunately it worked the other way around. I begin to tremble. The exact feeling I had when I met people before campfire this year, only this time, the door slams behind me, and my teacher takes the seat of the judge.

I looked at my page of the book. Funny why I still looked at it, cos that day when D called and say I ought to prepare for my exams, I made very sure I memorised everything before I left home this morning. But when I found my page, it felt as though I've never learnt italian before. I tongue twisted my way through... here's an example:

"In the scented bud of the morning O, where the windy grass went rippling far..."

but I went...

"Into scented bud O of the morning, where the rippling grass went windy far..."

I hate myself. Especially for the song Sebben Crudele. My advantage was my fluency in Italian.. but I ruined it. The ornaments I prepared to make it more my song, to make it more my composition, more style to it, as required by the examiner......my teacher prepared me simple ones, but these few days, I worked out better ones to make myself stand out. Bull..... I sounded far worse than a six year old singing with a cough.

Alas, the Broadway song......shall we dance? Quoting D : My arse.......
I imitated the voice of "Anna" very well and impressive to have my teacher talk about it so much... but I saw him sink into his chair and watch me in disgust.

The pianist, I bet she thinks I'm horrible too. We didn't even look at each other after that. It was all too ugly. I hate myself so very much. The fire didn't rekindle, it fused. I bet D agrees with that too.