She leaves tonight

She leaves tonight. I am rather nervous and weak to know what responsibility that lies ahead. 24 hours a day will no longer be enough. Catching up on my own load of work yet cleaning after my own dear granny. I'm not here to complain, just a tad of worry seep through my breath... because I have been very exhausted for the past two weeks and I do not know why. Is this another episode of depression? If so, what is this about? I really do not know.

As I clear that monthly stack of bills, as I clear after the mess from her meals, as I finally sit down and savor a moment of peace, food will no longer be on my list. My bed is my home, my privacy is my joy. I satisfy everybody's needs and wants for this period of time again as how I did previously when she left, but I just don't know how much energy I can put in.

The floors are waiting to be mopped. The dishes to be done. The bread storage to be filled. The breadspread needed to buy for her daily consumption. Checking on her from time to time. Checking on the accounts and making sure all bills are paid. I recall the last time this happened, I really hadn't the time for a meal till the day my stomach groans in agony. I'm trying to cope, of course with a little more hope, but who's going to be there for me when I'm all exhausted and not able to complete the tasks here at home? Who's going to call home for me to check on granny?

Worry,worry,worry, it has just begun, and I'm already hoping for the end...