Note

Picture taken from thewordwhisperer2.blogspot.com

Dearest,

When I first met you, I couldn't trust you, you felt too good to be true, but you stuck with me. I treated you badly, I finally came around, you still held my hand and I owe you one. I tried to turn the table around and be the patient one to keep this relationship going. Little did I know that it took over a year and a half and I'm still playing this role.

It may seem normal to you, that we don't communicate for days or even weeks. But it's not for me. Let us not compare other relationships that we seem normal. To me, communication is the key, and if we're not the person we think of in the day and when we sleep at night, then may be we have not found the right one. I always loved your shy attitude. But now I'm starting to think that you aren't shy. You just don't want to hold my hand.

I love you so much that it hurts and consumes me. The feeling is so overwhelming that I would cry any minute in the day. I love you so much that I was willing to tell myself and the world that we are made for each other. Now I just feel that I'm falling into a deep, deep hole.

I hope one day you will realize that I have loved you with all my heart and that never once I thought of leaving you. That I am nothing like your past, and what I had hoped for the both of us is the present and now. I pray it wouldn't be long for you to realize so, at least it wouldn't be too late before my heart turns cold bearing the scars that I carry with me.

I guess I wrote it all down because I never had the heart to tell it to your face. Because I had always devoted myself to give you love and kisses, never would I want to argue about us. Never had I demanded for any materialistic items. I have always appreciated who you are and what you give to me. But things have to come to an end some day, before it's too late. I need to stop all these uncertainties. I need to climb out of this black hole. I need to stop loving and hurting at the same time. I hope some day I'll be braver and be able to love again.

"Someday I'll be braver, I'll be my own savior, standing on my own two feet"