Growing Up Price.

Growing up isn't the easiest part of life but I don't suppose anyone is given a choice. For the past few months of internship and my last semester, juggling it all was my life's worst nightmare. I've come so far and this is the end of my semester, and somehow I felt that I did not do my best for my last two papers. I wish the fire in me did not die just a few days before having it all, but it's too late to turn back time now. I can only pray that my results are acceptable for the degree that I have always wanted...in which now, I'm not so sure if I want it anymore.

Despite what I have not learned throughout these past few months, but what I have learned, would be that life is a game of gamble. I have come to realize that in this world, you don't get candy for free. Every thing has a price to pay. Throughout my experience, a taste of what my career would be in the near future, debts are a high price to pay, and debts are the way to get around things. It isn't always on your side to play the "friend" card to get your way through.

I suppose this blog post is rather vague. But what I am trying to say is that I guess I have grown up a little more now. As I step into the world of adulthood, it scares me some times to actually realize what an animal world we live in. As cruel as it sounds, I sometimes fear because you'll never know who is truly your friend. I've been through the most difficult times in the past few months, and it was something that I would never forget. To actually go through so much emotional stress that it has became physical.

As we grow up, there are more responsibilities that we carry on our shoulders, and it's never easy. There's no turning back. When I stepped into the world of lies, my skin turned white out of shock. I once stepped into a world that I had to surrender my soul to the Devil. The Demons in there were out there to get you, watching you, and just waiting for the right time to get you. But I must say that God is amazing. The many fire pots I was put into, He saved me. Even though I never thought I would know myself again, I got out of it and I survived. He taught me that growing up is not going to be a joyride. It's going to be quite a ride, rather. And tomorrow, I have another battlefield to finish to pay off my "debts", one of the things I learned, is to never pull out that "friend" card just because I can. And as I walk out there to sell my soul to the Devil the second time, I hope that I would read this post again some time later and know that I survived yet again by the grace of God and that I would have grown up a little more again.

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Life is very much like a round of poker, and Aces don't always come your way. Just don't meet the Joker.