I went to City Park!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I................................sat on the grass.
I................................sat inside the tunnel.
I................................stood on the bridge and watched the fishies.
I................................lied on the bench and stared at the sky. I did not look anywhere else until somebody said, "Pengsan kah?" I dramatically tilt my head as tho I really pengsan... :)

I................................sat on the swing with J, till I realised it was "hanya untuk kanak-kanak dibawah umur 12 tahun sahaja"

I...............................walked from where I started to where D brought me last time. :D

I..............................wanted to purchase the kites..but it started to rain.

Yup, I really enjoyed that trip even tho certain things did not work out between me and J.

D, can you take me there sometime soon again?

The church visit to Jonathan's church was yet another something. Seriously, I didn't want to go, I was really really tired and the muscle pull I had couple of hours back that Sunday has left a toll on me. D was right that there is no need to see him since I've not gotten anything to pass to him yet, but a promise is a promise isn't it?

First, I need to know how to fix this situation. I walked in, Jon's mom hugged me for the first time, I bent to hug her but believe it or not in that split second, I fell asleep so I didn't hug her back.........she's the only one putting her arms around me...you get it? Embarrassing yet offending towards her. How now?

So happenly the worship was pretty lively and everybody danced around, as for me, I'm grateful enough I could sway.........and not fall face front. Kept my movements little. Then sermon, the moment where I bocor rahsia. Jon asked me which verse was it and I said 37....padahal it was 27. He gave me the questioning look. Okay, I'm sorry but I'm really tired! *sobs*

He told some dude next to me to keep his phone and pay attention. I was like =.="
I was text messaging D to keep awake. Shucks.
Alrights, then service was over, I got up thinking I could leave but then a few girls came up to me and Jon left me. Apa ni??!! I begin to tremble again....D, I think I still have a little bit of that fear...

They asked me about camp, college and stuff. Nice people really. :)
Then this dude announced that he wants to see all the youths after this, so I excused myself. But then Jon insisted on walking me to my car. Oookay.....well, I wanted to grab my heels in one hand and just flee to my car barefoot coz my legs are killing me. But he accompanied me so I had to wear my heels. hahhahahaha....

I am grateful he did walk me down coz there was a bunch of half naked foreigners downstairs. Bid our goodbyes and there I was, going home!!!

Sorry Karen, I forgot to pictures again, I seem to be very blurr these days... lol.

Did I mention I went home with a souvenir from...... ? :P

Sent from Heaven by Keyshia Cole... I hope it'll apply on me.....



Sent from heaven.Sent from heaven.

Now you can wait your whole life wondering
When it's gonna come or where it's been.
You may have got your heart broken
A few times in the past
Never last as strong as it used to,
It don't feel as good as it used to (before)
And all the things you used to say,
Things you used to do, went right out the door
Ooh no more, will you be the one
That's what you tell everyone around you
But you know they've heard it all before
What more can you say
When love won't let you,walk away
And you can't help who you love
And you find yourself giving it all away
When you think you're in love
Ooh cause

[CHORUS:]I wanna be the one who you believe
In your heart is sent from (sent from heaven)
There's a piece of me who leaves when you gone
Because you're sent from (sent from heaven)
I wanna be the one who you believe
In your heart is sent from (sent from heaven)
There's a piece of me who leaves when you gone
Because you're sent from (sent from heaven)

Now you can wait your whole life tryna change
What they fear from what it's been
You may have put your whole life into a man
Love aint what you thought it could've been.
Don't wanna swing your change
And you don't feel as good as you used to (before)And everything you used to say,
Everything you used to do, went right out the door
Ooh no more, will you be the one
That's what you tell everyone around you
But you know they've heard it all before
What more can you say
When love won't let you, walk away
And it can't help who it loves
And you find yourself giving it all away
When you think you're in love
Cause I wanna be hey yeah

[CHORUS]I wanna be the one who you believe
In your heart is sent from (sent from heaven)
There's a piece of me who leaves when you gone
Because you're sent from (sent from heaven)
I wanna be the one who you believe
In your heart is sent from (sent from heaven)
There's a piece of me who leaves when you gone
Because you're sent from (sent from heaven)
Everybody sayI wanna be the one you love(I wanna be)
Everybody sayI wanna be the one you trust(I wanna be)
Everybody sayI wanna be the one you need(I wanna be)
Everybody sayI wanna be the one ooh
I wanna be the one

The weekend was nothing but a hectic one.

Saturday 11th Oct 08

8.30am - Perodua (first service coz reached 1000 km)

11.00am- STM (Deaconese needed some fish)

11.15am- Wash two kancils...

1.30pm- Vaccuum-ing

2.00pm- Throw clothes in the washing machine

2.15pm- Shower!!

2.54pm- Worship practice (i was late...i'm sorry)

4.30pm- T.O.W

4.50pm- Home to pick mom up

5.10pm- Bkt Galena to pick auntie

5.30pm- City Park

6.30pm- Acasia

7.00pm- Home

8.00pm- KTM pick bro and gf

9.00pm- Dinner....swallowed in two minutes

9.15pm- CIMB bank and jo wanted to buy a phone for mom...

10.00pm- Home, study Business

10.30pm- Can't stop calling Jieg...sigh

Sunday. 12th Oct 08

3.00am - Muscle pull, cried till EVERYBODY woke up. Sorry, but it lasted for an hour.

4.00am- Refused to sleep in bed, went downstairs to sleep on the couch.

7.00am- Woke up, mom's soooo not prepared with her cooking.

8.00am- Start dressing up but I keep forgetting a lot of things.

8.30am- Finally leave home (yes, I'm late again, I'm sorry)

9.00am- Worship

10.00am- Fly to Kemayan Square

10.20am- Worship at S.O.G which lasted for an hour.....( my legs are killing me)

11.15am- Sermon ( I'm sorry Jon, I'm just too tired to pay attention)

12.30noon- Go home!!!........nope.... Jon secretly planned some getting to know you session...my contacts are killing my eyes.....

1.00pm- Go home!

2.00pm- Had communication error over and over again with Jieg

4.00pm- Study, say bye byes to bro,Amelia,sis,Winston,Auntie

5.00pm- I decided to go back to Nilai

6.00pm- Dinner with mom, I won't leave without spending time with her of course :)

7.00pm- Started my journey. Reached Labu my car screens started to get foggy..... I can't see

8.00pm-Stranded in Labu, called mom, freaked her out.

8.20pm-Wiped the screens, wind down the windows and continued my journey.

8.40pm- Arrived, my legs were wobbly.

8.50pm- Study study study

11.15pm- Sleep.

I was bored........so I took some random pictures I decided to blog about...


I was at Jieg's house last Sunday........
Sigh............kids nowadays......

Alright kiddo, you won the colouring competition.

Suruh baca buku, muncungkan bibir pulak ni..... don't pout Jieg!

He showed me the peace sign right when the waffles arrived....shucks

Well, Jim and Avin told me to jump off the cliff so I looked over.......

It's amazing how Jim is advertised as the Al Salam Wifi area...... lol

Avin, stop giving me that Vegetable is good for you story...... look at you......you didn't like the coleslaw too

Don't try to cover your acts, just admit that vege sucks.

Tadaaaa~~~ it's time to eat...........................................................BALLS!!!!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Wait, let me savour this moment......... before I munch on them, says Jim

Well, I must say, it taste pretty good....

Eh, apa ni?

What happened to Jim?????

It's okay, I like this one better....... it's a she...........*winks*

Jim: Woo hoo.... look over there..........!!!

No no no, I'm not going to look.

Aiyer....Jim! Naughty fella...

Hhahaahahahah I'm just kidding!!!

It's all fiction really, no hard feelings! Love ya all.

Exams are just around the corner and preparing for it is just so darn draining. I don't know why I'm in such a mood where nothing else mattered and I just want to sit down and do nothing about everything. ..

I'm confused with my own feelings as well. Have I really let go of my past hurts? Am I really set free? I seem to work myself out to avoid such exhausting questions to haunt me but now that everything's falling into place, that little empty space in my mind is starting to fill up with those thoughts again.

Having crushes doesn't mean I've let go of things but at least it is a starting point of another chapter. But then again, the fear is still there and will be there till the one appears. J told me that G is treating him pretty nicely nowadays. I'm worried and I'm losing that grip I have with J. I know I have no right to judge this man who once was part of me. Yes, even for J, I'll soon have no right to say anything as well. Very very soon, just a matter of weeks. I'd like to say my service is done and accomplished but once again, I have failed to draw the line bewteen ethics and emotions.

I have allowed myself to step in too deep and now when it's time to come out and draw the curtains, I bring along a bag of mixed feelings with me and that lingering sense of worry. I kept reminding myself that I am here because of S and because of what we both thought was best to do. S reminded me repeatedly that the time has come for me to end it, it will have to end after the event, be prepared, it'll have to end......

Nothing is stopping me from letting go my work as an Ex-comm guiding them in anyway needed. But everything in me is stopping me from not caring about them that much, especially J. Time's running out for them for the event, as for me, time's running out for me to work J out and at least give me an assurance that he would not be hurt, fall, and disappointed again.

I know my presence is no longer needed and my departure mattered to them. Thus, I am slowly stepping down putting everything back into place as though I have never returned at all. I believe after the event, my presence here and now will remain faint and it would be their turn to lead the wind instead.

I don't need any recognition, I just want them to see how beautiful things can be. Sometimes its not the results that matters, it's just how you be strong for it, continue having faith and strive. As for J, he is still very insensitive, and it hurts sometimes when he doesn't know how to yet after so long being with me... but maybe it's just for the time being, I still have a lot of hope and expectations and faith in him because he's quite a tough guy.

I don't know what's next awaiting for me.... but now till the 25th November, it's still another bit of journey to pull through. Till then, it's time to start yet another new chapter for me, sometimes I wonder when would it be the last page of this book.

Happy Birthday to Azlin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We celebrated her birthday with our mix and match techniques at Secret Recipe.
Again, I'm sorry I was late for the whole event guys, I was caught up that Saturday with a few things.

Our dear Azlin as she happily blow the one and only candle, girl, don't you get it? You ain't no legal baby like us, you're still a baby!! hahahaah

Anna, don't worry, she's not gonna blow your skirt off.... don't need to sit back soooo back :P

I know I know.... would we let her go so easily on her birthday? I mean..... everybody's mean to everybody during birthdays... so here goes..

Anna and Mandy stirring their own recipe of POOP

Yep, and they cruelly force the birthday girl to taste it.... look at it up close

There she goes!!

We were the next few victims who had to taste the poop too.... sigh....... Avin took a picture of me but I forgot to take it... ewwww

College students....... the bottom four being victimised for no reason..

Anna Sim Chooi Fen lah dalang di sebalik batu!!

Anna: Whatt??? Where got??

Na-uh Anna, don't give us that innocent look of yours...

Anna: Vincent, I really didn't leh...... believe me.....

Think Vincent believed her??



I wouldn't know but........ check this out :

Fuhyooooooo Anna's lips..... I don't even want to elaborate what was that for... the partner next to her or....... hehehehehehe :D

Wait wait.... Vincent's saying something......

Vincent: Check that out wei!!!!!!

Check what out?

That.

Mandy dengan ganasnya wrestling with Vincent as she tries to make her stand on ''Respect women!" Jim seems to be enjoying the violence..

Is Mandy laughing or crying? I really don't know, sadly, they stopped fighting because of my camera.

Vincent decides to be innocent.... sigh, you'll never be, Vincent. What a view to be checking out at Jusco in the afternoon huh? :P


___________________________________________________________________
So after the birthday celebration, we headed to this person's house whom we've not met for a very very very very long time... Who's house for Raya?

Mohd. Aqmarul whom we call "Aq" My abang angkat!!! Weeeeeeeeee, I miss you bro!

Sigh, boys, they say women gossip a lot but look at them? There's nothing but gossip....

And more food..........

Mandy pulak taking advantage of the situation to catch glimpses of her "crush"..... aiyoh Mandy fat hao pulak ni

And more food.............. Aq, if it wasn't because you're my bro, I wouldn't have touched this. It totally ruined my diet *winks*

Aiyoh, laki laki ni semua..... wanna pose also pose lah at better cars... lol!!

WAIT! I just spotted Mandy's car parked SENGET!!!!!! Pffffftttt... hehehe look at the white kancil... lol... kidding lar, not like it mattered...

Me and my bro...I love you, bro! Forever so sweet lah he, he told me to go home, pack up some clothes and stay over the weekend. Awwww!!!! Don't go back Penang lah wei, aku rindu abang angkat aku lah. HAHAHAHA

For those who don't understand:

Aqmarul and I became foster siblings since Standard 6 UPSR. It was some sort of a school ritual or something to put a few students under one teacher. Well, it wasn't the teacher that mattered in the end, it was the siblings !!! heheheehe.....


Well since we were just around the corner...... we had to go to another person's house before heading home...................


The crime scene:

Who murdered the snake?

Good old cat! What's his name? You don't wanna know....... you should ask are you sure it's a cat? Cos it's name is "Chirpie" Yikes eh?

Mandy's obssessed with it but when it comes near her, she runs ten yards away........okay a little bit of exaggeration there.

Anyways, Chirpie lost so much weight ever since somebody started college, so mean lar you woman!

What are they looking at over there??

I must admit it's quite a nice "view" of them over here.....hahahahahaah :P

So that's what they've been looking at.

I must admit that it has grown into a very disgusting or should I say......inappropriate way... hehehehe



So who's house is it?

None other than the Birthday girl -- Azlin Shahida who enjoys catfood for afternoon snacks..


Alright, we were so done with that day, energy level low. That's all for now!